so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
