Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
