this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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