so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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