i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
