Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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