You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
