There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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