one two three fourrrrnication!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
