I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
