Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
