The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
