Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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