I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
