: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
ttyl tear gas
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize