There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize