is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
