I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
