went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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