so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Someone stole a lamp last night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
