I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
