I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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