The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
