Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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