I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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