Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
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