woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
