oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
