I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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