I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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