worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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