Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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