How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
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I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize