So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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