stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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