u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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