ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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