yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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