return my video game
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I touched a dick in church today
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
