bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
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then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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