Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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