I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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