I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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