Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
