he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
