Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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