that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
