You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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