When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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