Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize