Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
