last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
