Life is so much better after having sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
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Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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