You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
