think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
