hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
