90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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