remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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