i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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