i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize