margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
