You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize