Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
