...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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