quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
