You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
