Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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