Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
