he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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