Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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