Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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