just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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