I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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